Signs that He's Lying

It's not always easy to recognize when your guy isn't telling the truth. But there are subtle cues that indicate he's trying to fudge the facts. To help awaken your inner lie detector -- and prevent dishonesty from floating in your relationship -- we called in ex-CIA polygraph examiner Dan Crum, author of the new book "Is He Lying To You?"

At one time or another your guy has probably said something that sounded a little fishy. The bachelor party ended at 10 p.m.; the auto mechanic made him invest in a bigger engine; he's allergic to opera. In fact, men tell twice as many lies as women, most of which are just little white lies, according to a new survey from 20th Century Fox to mark the DVD launch of the TV series "Lie To Me."

"Men lie to preserve their ego," Crum explains. "They don't want to spoil the reputation they've worked hard to earn." So if he wants you to think of him as reliable, he may fib that he made that phone call to the insurance company a week ago -- and then make a note to do it tomorrow. Other times, lying is simply the easy way out, especially if he thinks the truth will get him in trouble, Crum says. Maybe he drove his female coworker home because her car broke down, but tells you he drove home alone so you won't get worked up.

Even though small fibs seem harmless, these little white lies can undermine a sense of trust in your relationship. "When men get away with small, insignificant fibs, it builds their lying comfort level," Crum says. "The more practice he gets, the higher your risk that he'll lie about bigger things down the line." But you don't need to hook him up to a polygraph machine to pick up on deception. These simple tactics can help you spot the lie, get him talking truthfully, and pave the way for a more trusting and honest relationship.

1. Take a mental picture of his usual behavior. The way your guy behaves verbally and non-verbally when he's relaxed is what Crum calls a man's WIN (what is normal). The next time you are talking about the weather, plans for the weekend, or any other no-pressure topic, take note of his WIN -- does he clear his throat or gesture when he speaks? Only when you know his WIN will you be able to pick up on the subtle changes in body language, speech, and tone of voice that occur when he's trying to hide something.

Signs that He's Lying

5 ways to RUIN your relationship.

1.    You’re frequently disappointed by your partner’s gifts or gestures.
He might not have the greatest taste in jewelry or the latest fashions, and consequently his gifts may fall short of your stylish expectations. But in matters of the heart, it really is the thought that counts. If you want to stay in good favor, be thankful of the effort. After all, nothing discourages gift-giving or spontaneous romantic gestures like real or perceived criticism from the recipient.

2.    You focus on his faults.
Even Mr. Right is not going to be perfect. In fact, far from it. A solid relationship is not about verbally beating his flaws out of him any more than it is about him expecting you to change into his “dream girl.” The secret is to learn to love even the things you hate about him—or at least recognize that they are to be embraced as part of the gloriously imperfect package.  If you can accept his less savory qualities, he’s more likely to be able to return the courtesy—and that’s an indication of true compatibility. Besides, if it’s the real deal, even his faults may grow into endearing idiosyncrasies.

3.    You’re too available or have drastically changed your routine for him.
It might be tempting to spend all your free time with your significant other, especially during the “honeymoon stage.” But losing yourself in your loved one invariably results in backlash, which might include bickering or a loss of interest on his part. Schedule a girl’s night out with your gal pals, don your hottest LBD and sky-scraping heels and leave your man on his own for the night. Absence really does make the heart grow fonder. Plus, maintaining your own identity and routine lets him know you that while you want him in your life, you don’t need him—independence and confidence never stops being attractive.

4.    You’ve stopped getting glam for your dates…ever.
As a relationship becomes more serious, what you lose in excitement you make up for in intimacy. There’s something to be said for a cozy movie night at home in which you wear his favorite T-shirt. However, taking the time to don your hottest date night dress or throwing on new lingerie, may breathe new life in your relationship and remind you both of your exciting beginning.

5.    You discuss your relationship too much.
Once you’ve moved past the casual dating stage to full-on coupledom, it might be tempting to talk about your relationship more.  Beware of discussing the ins and outs of your courtship, asking repeatedly if he is “OK” or obsessing on your relationship’s rough edges. Not to say you shouldn’t have an open communication, but make sure you’re living in the moment and keeping things fun and light on a regular basis. After all, you get what you focus on.

5 ways to RUIN your relationship.